We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
