i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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