I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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