Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am mentally ready for anal.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
