from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
