You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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