I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
