I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
