I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
