Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
