Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
