Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
