Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
