Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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