Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
