Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
