someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
