Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
