they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
