Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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