Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
