sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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