well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
