I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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