do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize