you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
