Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
