(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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