Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
