4 words: hood of his car
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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