i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
