she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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