eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
