party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
