Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
