Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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