Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
