and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
