dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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