just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
