You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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