i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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