I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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