Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
wakey wakey hands off snakey
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
