dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
