Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just tell him i said nine months
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
