Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
