Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
