if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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