Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
