If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
