hotel room ftw
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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